When it comes to a successful marriage there are four main C’s you want to remember. Those four C’s are Communication, Commitment, Compromise, and Compassion. Now before I get into the nitty-gritty, Southern Dads I know sometimes we get lazy when it comes to our marriage. Which in the long run can cause a lot of problems down the road. Now if your marriage is in trouble I hope this guide can help you get out of your rut before it is too late. If your marriage isn’t in trouble this guide can help you keep it that way.
Communication is a very important key when it come to a successful marriage. Yet, even some of the greatest couples, despite their best efforts, experience communication problems. You say one thing and your spouse hears something entirely different. Our good intentions are somehow lost in conversation. In situations where a couple is having an argument, and voices are getting louder with anger, it’s usually when one of you feels you’re not being heard.
Fortunately, we can learn to communicate more effectively. You can communicate better when you stay calm, engaged, and active in your listening. I emphasize on remaining calm because no good comes from yelling at one another. Make sure you give your full attention to the needs of your spouse. It is about trusting and respecting your spouses way of communicating. We all differ in how we communicate, and there is no perfect science to it. Whether it’s love, fear, or frustration, it is truly important how it is being communicated as well as how it is being perceived!
If you need help communicating with your spouse there is an awesome book that I highly recommend. The book is The 5 Love Languages by Gary Chapman. This book helped my wife and I when we were going through a rough patch a few years ago.
Commitment is an important key to every successful marriage as well. It’s more than being in an exclusive relationship. It’s about sticking with each other through the good times and bad times as well. Just because you don’t agree with each other doesn’t mean you can give up on a marriage. That is a rough patch. Most rough patches can be fixed as long as both parties are willing to commit to the marriage and fixing the problem at hand. The book The Five Love Languages also helps with commitment as well. It does help you on how to stay committed to your marriage with the different exercises it has you do.
With every successful marriage there is compromise. Marriage is all about give and take. It’s very unhealthy to walk all over your spouse as well as to let them walk all over you. Just remember each of you have feelings and you have to remember it’s not all about you.
For example, On date night if your spouse wants to be surprised refer back to my post on a Romantic Dinner at Home, but if your spouse doesn’t want to stay in try to let them have the option on what they want to do. Even if it’s something you don’t like doing just go with the flow.
One thing you need to remember when it comes to compromise it takes two people to make it happen. You also want to make sure you support each others decisions as well. Happy couples who have marriages that last for a lifetime have learned how to compromise.
You must have compassion for any successful marriage to work. There are times when the best thing you can do for your spouse is to just be there for them. There may not be anything you can do to change their situation, but you can be there to hold and comfort them. Compassion is sometimes the only way you can love someone when there is nothing you can say or do to make your spouses life or situation better. Being there, having their back, believing in them and giving them a shoulder to cry on builds the loyalty and trust necessary for a great marriage to work.
In conclusion, If you would like for your marriage to be successful you might want to keep the 4 C’s in mind for the future. I would also like to recommend you getting the book The 5 Love Languages by Gary Chapman. It’s a valuable tool to help you communicate with each other. As long as you follow the exercises in the book and do them it will help with your marriage.